I’m Taking a Beating From Life Right Now
My blog has not been my priority over the last couple of weeks and when I have posted it has only been half-heartedly. Ideally, I’d love to take a few hours each day to plan topics and write these long meaningful posts, but life brings me back to reality and tells me that it is impossible. On top of that, we’ve really been hit with several struggles recently and it’s been difficult to say the least.
I read a post by John Chow about the number one reason for his success and it made me realize the first reason why things are not going so well. The relationship between my husband and I has been shaky to say the least and we have spent the past couple of months talking about divorce. It’s a very hard thing to say publicly, because there are only one or two people in real life who knows what’s going on. Right now though, we’re both of the agreement that we are going to fight with everything we have to try to work it out.
Secondly, (and probably one of the primary reasons for our marriage problems) is that our finances are in absolute disarray. On Blogging Away Debt, I read a post about a guy who owes $54,000 and spends $2,000 more than he earns each month and I feel like it really struck a chord. That could definitely be us in a couple of years if something doesn’t change. We’re constantly falling behind in our monthly bills and haven’t paid our creditors in a few months. Whenever we come into money (Christmas, birthdays, etc.) I have to use that money to catch up on our utilities and avoid having them shut off.
And, I know the finances are really having an impact on me mentally because I’m just constantly exhausted anymore. I think I’ve definitely hit frugality burnout but when there’s no other option, what choice do you have?
Lastly, this morning I feel like I’ve hit an all time low. We do not have health insurance and that’s worried me a bit considering my Mother-in-Law just had to have surgery with no health insurance. But you know, when it rains, it pours. I was laying on the bed this morning and my son threw his head against my face. I instantly heard a snapping sound and felt immense pain. I’m 90% sure my nose is broken because it has this tell-tale curve to it now. No insurance means I’m going to have to live with it though. I’m hoping once the slight swelling goes down that it won’t be too noticeable, but for a woman - the face is the most terrible place to have something wrong.
On that note, I’m debating taking this blog any further. I won’t give up blogging completely, but the frugal topic is overused, which makes it difficult to come up with things that someone else hasn’t already talked about. Then comes the point where people needlessly call you cheap and it just really makes you start doubting yourself.
So, that’s it in a nutshell. I wanted to at least post an update to break the silence.
Behind every adversity lays the seed of a greater benefit. Five years from now, you will look upon these days as some of your greatest because it here where you learn the most.
Good luck to you.
You have to do what is right for you and your family and if that means your blog is silent for awhile then that’s the way it will have to be.. Everyone will be waiting for your return
Not to be throwing advice out where it’s not wanted but ….. Although it’s easier said then done your husband and you have to decide you will not fight about money. You didn’t marry each other for money so underneath that pile of bills there is a big stack of love…. Your a team and you’ll get out of this together.
I hope your nose isn’t broken… crossing my fingers…
Hang in there…
ditto ditto…now, take a deep breath and let it out slowly. (breathing is free) i was once that deep in debt too…it is scary and it is very hard not to panic. your husband and you need to seek help with debt counseling…get the info from your bank. once you get through that, believe me you will feel better (like the weight of the world is finally off of your back). and once you both get through the debt counselors and all budgetted up…you might not have alot of money but you will have alot of time to give to each other and to yourselves as well. my husband did not speak to me for at least two months and that was after we agreed we needed debt counseling and got it. but he slowly came around and we are both better off for it. we are still have a debt (much smaller), but we have come a really long way both financially and in our personal relationship. take heart…God does not give us more than we can bear. being frugal is not being cheap. being frugal is spending your money wisely and with responsibly. for instance, how much do you spend eating out each week and how much does it add up over a years time? we were at one time spending almost $3000.00 a year just a pizza hut! i could have paid off american express with that…and eventually that is just what i did. good luck, and don’t give up just yet.
Hi Lisa, I recently split from my partner of 10 years and it devastated me at first and I could barely function and my blog suffered. Coming clean about it on the blog was the best thing I did and you have made that first step too. As John says, try to look for the good in the bad situations, they are usually there. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger in ways we may never understand at the time. Hang in there and take each day at a time, or perhaps each hour if you have to.
If you have a Credit Union in your area, search them out. The requirments these days are crazy-easy to get in (one local one here in madison, WI requires you, “live, work, or worship” in the county!). Crecit Unions are Non-for-profit, so you can trust any suggestions they have in regards to monetary help.
If you two are religious/member of a church, they often have free/cheap counsiling services.
I have found that the point of a blog is for the author. So what if other people have written about the frugality issue? It’s what’s important to you, it’s what you’re thinking on, trying to resolve, &c. Each of us have a unique view on things, and I have not read many blogs that speak to having a young family, and being deep in debt, and a marraige that is rocky because of it.
Keep the faith, and good luck!